Most couples struggle to write their wedding vows. This has nothing to do with their love for one another though, so don’t panic! It can be difficult to sit down with a pen and paper and say how much you love your partner, tell your history, and dream about your future.
To help my couples through this part of the planning process, I created an exclusive wedding vow guide. This guide consists of questions to help you tell your story and organize your thoughts to create your vows and promises to one another.
So as a little freebie, I wanted to share part of that wedding vow guide with you!
MY TOP TIPS TO START WRITING YOUR WEDDING VOWS
Block off time on your calendar to write
Set aside a Saturday morning to sit down with your morning coffee and write out your thoughts. This isn’t something that you want to cram into your busy schedule, it’s not an afterthought, so make it feel like an important part of your day.
Don’t wait until last minute
Some people think it’s best to wait until the morning of their wedding to write their vows for the most authentic words. While this CAN work for some people, like creative types, writers, and musicians, it isn’t always the best plan for everybody. I generally recommend writing your first draft of your vows at least a month before your wedding, get most of your vows written, and then revisit about a week before to edit and finalize before transferring to your vow book.
And on that note, feel free to write multiple drafts, edit, and revise!
Take alllll the pressure off yourself, you do not need to get your vows perfect the first time you sit down to write! Give yourself permission to write as much as you want, whittle it down as you need to, write silly things, serious things, and don’t hold back on your first draft!
Avoid copying phrases directly from other blogs or pinterest. (and maaayybbee avoid using chatgbt)
Chances are, those things aren’t written the way you would have written them, or they might not explain how you actually feel. Sure they sound pretty, but it’s not authentic. The same goes for AI writers. A bot won’t know your history with your partner, and the goals you have together, so don’t let convenience step in the way of showing up for your partner.
Practice reading out loud
This is the number one thing everybody needs to do before their wedding! Practice reading your vows out loud, in front of a mirror, to your best friend, your dog, your child. Why is this important? Remember group reading in high school where everybody reads a paragraph? If you don’t practice reading your words, they’ll feel foreign if you’re reading for the first time to your partner or in front of an audience. But with practice, you can change phrasing to sound more natural, and get comfortable saying your own words out loud.
SO WHERE DO I START WITH WRITING MY WEDDING VOWS?
Let’s start by breaking down your relationship… Start a journal, or a document and just start writing out your thoughts
Think about when you first met your partner, what did you think of them?
Where were you emotionally, with your career, did you just move to a new city?
What made you fall for them?
Write down the moment you knew you were in love.
When did you know you wanted to marry them?
How did you feel when they proposed/how did you feel when you proposed?
Have you faced any major obstacles together?
What are your strengths and weaknesses as a couple
How do you heal each other?
What dreams do you have for your future together?
These questions will help you tell your story of where you were and where you’re going!
NEXT… VOWS AND PROMISES
Write some vows and promises. Write as many as you want, and whatever you are feeling in the moment. You can always add or remove things later!
Vows your your partner
Vows for you as a couple
Vows for your future
PUT YOUR WEDDING VOWS TOGETHER
Start by addressing your partner. Feel free to use any pet names, inside jokes, or things you always say to one another
Tell your story and some of the most important moments in your relationship and most importantly, why you love your partner
Add your promises and vows
Close out with a final statement or vow, and don’t forget to say “I love you”
Writing your own personal vows is key to having an amazing wedding film, but first and foremost, this is for you and your partner. Take your time, enjoy writing, and fall more in love with your partner.
For more ways to connect with your partner in the wedding planning process, consider this card deck from my favorite company, the Skin Deep.